Top 10 Predictions for 2010
#10. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke decides pundits were wrong on the housing bubble, so he sets Fed Funds target rate at negative -3.0%. Small businesses start receiving loans.
#9. As part of healthcare reform, Medicare is extended to teens for collagen lip augmentation.
#8. Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and Citigroup form tri-merger to guarantee they are too big to fail.
#7. Tiger Woods poses in Playgirl to pay for pricey revised terms in his prenup. (see previous post)
#6. Gold spikes to $3,000 per ounce as government subsidizes dental chains in “cash for crowns” gold melting campaign. Consumers get extra cash, but Jujube candy sales plummet. (see previous post)
#5. Bernie Madoff escapes from prison. A cigarette Ponzi Scheme created by Madoff generates enough money to bribe guards.
#4. Apple introduces iPot – a combination iPhone and toilet.
#3. Kazakhstan pays Brazil, Russia, India and China a 5% GDP royalty to be added to the emerging B-R-I-C-K countries. A win-win for all parties, including spelling teachers around the world.
#2. Timothy Geithner retires from Treasury after making millions for being cast as Eddie Haskell in new remake of Leave It to Beaver movie. (see previous post)
#1. Oprah decides to halt her retirement plans. Instead, she signs me to a multi-million dollar deal to co-host a stock & gossip show with her.
Wade W. Slome, CFA, CFP®
Plan. Invest. Prosper.
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